Masons and Light Bulbs 7/7/09

Larry had this posted on his Blog. He said it was for me so I don't have any problem stealing it and since I don't have anything to say tonight here it is.
Q. How many Masons does it take to change a light bulb?

A. After much research this tricky question can now be answered. It takes 20, as follows:

2 to complain that the light doesn't work.
1 to pass the problem to either another committee, the Temple Board or the Master of the Lodge.
3 to do a study on light in the Lodge.
2 to check out the types of lights the Knights of Columbus use.
3 to argue about it.
5 to plan a fund-raising dinner to raise money for the bulb.
2 to complain that "that_s not the way we did it before."
1 to borrow a ladder, donate the bulb and install it.
1 to order the brass memorial plate and have it inscribed.

So then I went into the archives to find some more in this vein.


Q: How many Masons does it take to change a light
bulb?

A: Four: One to announce in due form the changing of
the light bulb. A second at the will and pleasure to
actually change the light bulb. A third to accurately
record minutes of the bulb changing. And a forth to
talk about how it was light bulbs were changed 40
years ago.

--Far be it for me to argue with a more learned Mason than I, particularly one who is a charter and only member of the Order of Whatever, but I think you missed some. How about the committee of three to investigate whether a light is needed in that particular area and if their report is positive then a committee of three is needed to search for the best price on light bulbs. After the bulb is purchased you need some good Mason to proclaim loudly & at great length that he "could have gotten the bulb cheaper." Adding 7 to your 4, I come up with 11 and I may have missed some.


A: Masons . . . change ???


NY A: Masons . . . change ???
CT A: Can't tell ya, it’s a secret.

Dutch masonic way:
What electric light??? Are they crazy??

Very difficult question to answer, for first you must determine how many Brothers will be asked to join the committee (which of course must be cleared first with the District Inspector and if there are multiple lights in contention, the Grand Lodge will have to be contacted to ascertain
whether or not any infringement of the applicable Masonic Codes are possibly being invaded and if that is potentially unlawful under the jurisdiction procedures then the entire matter must be held over for the next Annual Communication where each viable Lodge may have the opportunity to offer their own unique input on the matter) that would henceforward be titled Lights: A Necessity In The 21st Century? .

Sometimes it's easier to just turn the lights out and practice Parking Lot Masonry.

Speaking of Masons. One of my Lodge Brothers has announced that he is running for Ames City Council - He has a web site here. It was announced in tonight's Ames Paper here.

I was wrong about Bailey. My sister corrected me. He is only 14 and he is back to normal. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs, j

Humor Break 1/27/08

An English doctor was being shown around a Scottish hospital.
Near the end of his visit, he saw a ward of patients with no obvious injuries.
He started to examine the first patient, but the man proclaimed:
"Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face / Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!"
The doctor, taken aback, moved on to the next patient, who immediately said,
"Some hae meat and canna eat / And some wad eat that want it."
The next patient cried out,
"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie /
O what a panic's in thy breastie!"
"Well," the English doctor muttered to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for last."
"Oh, no," said the Scottish doctor. "This is our serious Burns unit!"

Masonic Signs 11/14/07

We really like using signs around here!

A NEW SIGN

A young Entered Apprentice was being examined as to his proficiency in the Entered Apprentice Degree. After he had finished, he looked at his instructor and said, "I noticed several of the older members sticking their fingers in their ears and whistling. Is that a sign that I missed something? What does that sign mean?"

"That's not a sign," his instructor said, "those are old Past Masters adjusting their hearing aids."

Visiting Mason 8/6/07

Thanks to Kevin for this:

A Mason is on a business trip. One night he stops in a small Indiana town. He wants to know if there is Lodge to visit, so he takes a walk through the town and after some time he finds a lane called "Mason's Road".

Thinking it might lead to the Masonic Temple, he follows it. At the end he sees a building, which looks somewhat rotten and seems to have been out of use for quite a while.

He tries to open the door and, surprisingly, it is not locked. He goes inside and finds dust and spider webs everywhere.

In front of a door there sits a skeleton, wearing an apron and collar, holding a sword in its hand.

"Oh my God", thinks the Brother and enters the Lodge room.

He's horrified to see skeletons with collars and aprons everywhere.
The Worshipful Master, the Wardens, the Organist, Deacons - all skeletons.

He looks around and goes to the seats of the Secretary and Treasurer.

Under the hand of the Treasurer he finds a small piece of paper, a little note, which seems to have been passed to him by the Secretary.

He picks up the note, blows away the dust and reads:

>


>


>

"You know, if nobody prompts the Worshipful Master., we'll all be sitting here forever."